| The Escapades of Kiorein and Pals! Season 2!; It's Escapaderrific!™ | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 11 2009, 03:20 PM (5,301 Views) | |
| Stairmaster | Aug 13 2009, 10:25 PM Post #221 |
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"Who gives a crap. We'll be rich! We'll give it a nautical theme and everything." Said Stairmaster. "I call dibs on being captain of the restaurant!" Forever, Stair's nautical restaurant failed miserably, and the crew was back to the drawing board. "Stairmaster's Nautical Tacos" did not succeed in drawing in the customers. Edited by Kiorein, Aug 24 2009, 08:51 PM.
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Swanson 
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Aug 14 2009, 06:50 AM Post #222 |
Italic Novice
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Meanwhile at Painting's Taco Hut.... It was closing time at the good ol' Taco Hut, Painting was counting up the money and "Action Man" was closing up shop. Before he locked the door however a large group of customers showed up. "Looks like we have some more money to make" Shiftshaper said to Painting. "We're not here for food" said angry guy. "Then what are you here for?" Painting said confused. "Your tacos gave me Lockjaw" said Lockjaw guy. "Your tacos caused internal bleeding in my stomach" said bleeding dude. "Your tacos gave me cancer" said crazy dude. "Okay I get it" Painting said "you're all here for autographs" after saying this Painting was promptly punched in the face. "NO, We're here to tear down the Taco Hut" angry guy spoke as a bulldozer crashed thru the wall. "Whoops, dropped my pudding pop" said bulldozer driver. Edited by Swanson, Aug 14 2009, 06:51 AM.
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http://www.youtube.com/user/YourVisualMotion Changing the world, one video at a time. | |
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Pregga Zexas 
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Aug 14 2009, 06:06 PM Post #223 |
Italic Beginner
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"Oh, but I came prepared for this," muttered Painting. "TACO TROOPERS!" A platoon of taco troopers appeared in the room. "Good thing I built up a defense after Schnippshly threatened my business! Thanks to the powers of made-up science, it's entirely possible for me to build soldiers out of the product that I sell!" explained Painting to the audience. He then pointed at the whiny invaders who had broken into his establishment. "NO WITNESSES." We interrupt the following massacre to tell you about Pop-Pop Pudding Pops! The only pudding pop that tastes better after you drop it on the dirty floor! "Man, what a grim scene!" remarked Shiftshaper. "Yeah, good thing no kids were around to see that bloodbath!" said Painting. "Except the ones who died in it." He walked up to one of the taco troopers. "YOU DID GOOD SOLDIER!" The taco trooper saluted. "I live to serve! AND BE DELICIOUS!" Painting took a bite out of him. "You're right!" The taco trooper fell over in agonizing pain and, with his last dying breath, he said, "It was a pleasure being your dinner... Sir! BLEGH." "There's no way building an army of sentient taco troopers and then eating them could backfire. My taco empire shall rule! BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!" |
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| Kiorein | Aug 25 2009, 03:11 PM Post #224 |
Italic Novice
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"Not so fast~!" shouted Xon, bursting in through the large glass window. "I've come to slay you, Painting Avarice!... sama!" "Oh god, it's you!" shouted Painting. "Taco Troopers!! Atttaaaackkk!!!" "It's our lunch break!" responded a taco trooper. "But you just-- bah, forget it! Instant, Action Man, dispose of this pest!" Instant and Shiftshaper approached Xon. "Let me take care of this," said Instant, throwing his magic cloak over Xon. He removed it, to reveal two Xons! "Hmmm... no, that's not right. That's not right at all. He was supposed to turn into some sort of food item, which I would then consume." said Instant. "Maybe I should have read the instruction manual for this thing." Xon #1 looked around. "Whoa. There's two of me." "Yep." said Xon #2. "Let's go home," said Xon #1. And so, they left. "What, really?" said Painting, scratching his head. "Okay, clean up that glass and repair the window so we can go." Cooker walked in. "Painting! This has gone far enough!" Painting rolled his eyes. "So are Stair, Schnippshly, and Mofir all somewhere nearby, ready to attack at any moment. "Well, yeah, but I came to talk to you face-to-face, to communicate with your sense of reason." said Cooker. "You know that ruling the world is wrong." "Soooo..." said Instant. "Should I like, kill him?" "Yep." "Well, you've left us no choice. We're going to have to unleash the ultimate weapon. Bring him in!" shouted Cooker. Out came Naruuk. "Hey guys!" he shouted. "I'm ready for some tacos!" "Well, uh, you can buy some-- tomorrow, we're closed." replied Painting. "Er, who are you again?" Stairmaster approached the group. "Naruuk was rated the least cool guy in the city by Nirro's Party Commission." he said, pulling out a chart. Painting's eyes widened with fear. "And you brought him here?! Why would you do that!? Nobody is going to set foot near the place!" "Closed huh?" said Naruuk. "I guess I'll just wait right here!" "No! You leave, now!" shouted Painting, gesturing him to leave. "Noooo, I want tacos!" complained Naruuk. "Okay, Instant, Action Man, take him away," commanded Painting. "Whoa, no, if you do that, I'll file hundreds of complaints and post thousands of negative reviews of your restaurant, and rally around it and make sure that the whole world hears about the injustice!" Painting fell to his knees. "I've been defeated." Cooker grinned and hi-fived Schnippshly. "Great job, team!" he shouted. "Ja, I'm not your friend," replied Schnippshly before time warping away. "Uh, Stair?" said Cooker, offering a hi-five. Stair just kinda left. Action Man and Instant glared at Cooker as they left. "Commendable job!" said Mofir. "Really, that plan was brilliant." "I dunno, I thought it was kinda deus-ex-machina-get-the-episode-over-ish," replied Cooker. "Eh, whatever gets the job done." Within days, Painting's Taco Hut began to fall apart, as Painting was unable to find any employees willing to be seen around Naruuk, and Naruuk soon became his sole customer, and the establishment eventually was forced to close its doors. Painting, however, vowed to one day restore the taco hut to its rightful place as world ruler. One day, one day, he thought. Episode 5: The Doom Squad "Next!" called a voice from behind a desk. The desk was in a poorly lit, large, room, with a wooden floor. It had a big-ass TV, and upon closer inspection, was the very same middle school gymnasium that Stairmaster had requisitioned during the election chapter. "State your name," said the figure from behind the desk. "State my name!?" demanded GT the Magikoopa. "Do you KNOW who you are speaking to!?" "Well, no, that's kinda why I just asked you for your name..." "I'm GT the Magikoopa! World's greatest villainous mastermind and evildoer! Master of wizardry, sorcery, and even doing magic tricks!" "Uh huh, so what makes you think you qualify for teaming up with me?" "Are you completely unaware of my many vast accomplishments!? For starters, I single-handedly took out the robotic overlord, well I have two minions, but still!" "Nobody was even paying attention to the robotic overlord guy, we were all more worried about tacos and stuff," replied the mysterious figure. "Well, I'm also the guy who wished away the P'zones, yep that's right, that was me!" "Gasp! That was you! Whoa, you're the real deal!" GT grinned. "I'm glad you can see it my way." "I mean, REALLY! You're like the biggest asshole ever, you're like, the king of doing evil stuff!" GT frowned. "You've got the job!" "Excellent, but before I actually join you, I need to know exactly who you are..." The shadowy figure's appearance suddenly changed, revealing Shiftshaper's true form. "They call me Shiftshaper, I'm a master of morphing into stuff, and my goal is to take over the world!" "Kinda generic, but okay," "Excellent, you are my fourth minion today!" "Minion!? NO! Partner!" "Fine, geez..." "Okay, Shiftshap-" "NO! You won't call me Shiftshaper." Shiftshaper suddenly changed form, gaining a bulkier, taller, less wimpy body. He wore regal clothes, and a crown on his head. "Call me The King. And after we rule the world, call me The King of The World." "What does that make me? The Queen?" "uh... I guess? Are you a woman? You're wearing a dress... right?" "NO! I'm not a woman, and this is a robe!" "Fine, you can be The Rook." "What, are you going for some sort of Chess theme?" "Now I am. I guess. Sure." replied Shiftshaper, scratching his head, nervously. "Enolc! Shcnep..schnoz...schaoem... German guy! Come to me!" "What is it, your evilness?" replied Enolc. "My name ist Schnippshly, geez, ist not zat hard tos remember." "These are my minions," uttered GT. "I prefer the term cohort!" responded Enolc. "Whatever." said GT. "So, these guys are Pawns then," said Shiftshaper. "Uh, no, we're cohorts," said Enolc. "We just went over that," "Nono, we're going for a chess theme, weren't you here?" "No, I just got summoned here like 5 seconds ago," "Well, we're going for a Chess Theme!" snapped Shiftshaper. "Fine geez, you don't have to yell!" "I vant to be der Knight, I like der horses!" shouted Schnippshly. "Nooo! You're not high rank enough!" "Zis ist der schtupidest thing I haff ever been involved with, vhy do I even work for GT anyways?" "You'll have a piece of world domination, and as a Nazi, you like that," "Oh ja. Cool. So, vhen are we going to storm der city with der flamethrowers and tanks and kill der people?" "Yeah, uh, we don't exactly have that kind of budget. We need a quick, easy solution that will almost be like cheating." said Shiftshaper. "Well..." said GT. "I got rid of the P'zones with a wish, and I did so through the bumbling group of Kiorein and his friends. I can't exactly steal the wish again like last time, since gathering the magical chao balls will be impossible for quite a while," "They're an interesting bunch, indeed, and continuing to follow them and see what they're up to will probably lead us to something that will help us on our way," said Shiftshaper. "Oh, I've been posing as Action Man for a while, by the way, guys," "Oh yeah, Cooker was talking about you probably being a fake for a while, but we kinda ignored him," said Enolc. "And then Stairmaster shot me." "So, about this base, I've got this nice castle in the sky that..." Meanwhile, at the Kevereth Estate... It has been a pretty relaxed two month break from their usual antics. Well, Instant went on an adventure with Zaph, M, and Cooker, but eh. Kiorein and Instant were playing Foosball with their new Foosball table, Stairmaster, M, and Jofir were watching the TV, and Cooker and Mofir were in the kitchen. "Hah! I win! In your face!" Instant flipped the Foosball table over. "I really should have learned not do play these games with you after I bought the pool table, the ping pong table, and board games table," "Yeah well, not my problem," said Instant. "I wonder where Enolc is," said Stairmaster. "I'm hankering to kill somebody." "Maybe they stopped making more clones, realizing that they were wasting money sending clones to march off into their doom," said M. "Hey guys!" said Painting, barging in. "Check out these REALLY GREAT artifacts that I stole, probably would be very useful for somebody TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" he yelled really loudly. "Throw 'em in the pile," said Kiorein. Painting chucked them into a pile of treasures. "Whelp, I'm off to go steal some more," he added and then left. Edited by Kiorein, Aug 25 2009, 03:22 PM.
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Swanson
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Aug 25 2009, 05:20 PM Post #225 |
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Italic Novice
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Shiftshaper strolled into the house, of course sticking to Action Man's way of strolling he crashed thru the front door and started randomly firing his machine gun. "Hey, Action Man" Kio waved "JUMPING BICEPS!!! WHAT IS THAT" said Shiftshaper pointing to the artifacts Painting had left in the giant pile. "They're artifacts that can shape the world in your image or whatever" said Stairmaster. "Oh, I think I'll just go....blow these up out back" said Shiftshaper picking up the artifacts. "Okay, have fun" Stair said going back to watching TV But, before Shiftshaper could make it outside a time warp occured and out of it came Action Dad The father of Action Man and Shiftshaper, he's said to be the most action packed man alive "Son, what the bloody noses is going on here!!!" Action Dad shouted. "Dad?!?!?!" Shiftshaper said in surprise. "Yes, I came here to check up on you, the future hasn't changed at all, in fact it's gotten worse, what the hell have you been doing" Action Dad said. Instead of explaining himself to his father, Shiftshaper used his new found artifacts to put him back into the future. "What was that all about?" Instant asked. "Nothing, I'm just taking over the world" Shiftshaper said. "What" Kio said. Suddenly, there was a flash. "Master Shaper, it's time to get up" Said Instant in a butler outfit with a british accent. "It worked" Shiftshaper thought to himself "I've taken over the world" Shiftshaper said triumphantly. |
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http://www.youtube.com/user/YourVisualMotion Changing the world, one video at a time. | |
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Pregga Zexas
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Sep 1 2009, 02:14 AM Post #226 |
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Italic Beginner
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GT sat in his throne, a familiar place for one as mighty and kingly as he. "The world is mine!" laughed he. "Or half of it is, anyway. I would say that is an accurate description of the current situation. Speaking of which, I wonder how my military is doing!" GT pressed a button on the desk in front of his throne. "Intercommunications system, get me Field Marshal Schnippshly on the line!" "I have a name," replied the intercom. "It's Gerald." "IT'S ABOUT TO BE DEAD IF YOU DO NOT HURRY UP!" A screen in GT's throne room suddenly turned on. It displayed an image of a burning city street and what sounded like a battle in the background. "Ja, mein Furher!" yelled Schnippshly as he ran up to the screen. "My name is not minefurhair! I called about the insurgent situation!" "Ja, it is definitely under control, mein Furher!" said Schnippshly as a bomb went off behind him. "More or less." "Yeah, I bet." GT turned off the screen and by turn off I mean he blew it up with his magical powers because he couldn't find the off switch. "That was a totally pointless call. Who shall I call next? BRING OUT THE SPARE GIGANTIC TV SCREEN!" Elsewhere... Instant Butler handed Shiftshaper his morning breakfast. "Mmyour morning breakfast, sir." Shiftshaper grabbed it greedily. All the usual fixings were there, including his favorite, kosher turkey bacon. He touched it to examine its texture and integrity. "This bacon is not nearly crispy enough! CLEARLY THIS WORLD IS NOT TO MY LIKING AT ALL!" Shiftshaper grabbed for his artifacts so he could change everything again so that the bacon would be the right amount of crispiness, but found that the artifacts were not nearby. He later found that they were not in his house at all! "DANGIT!" he cursed kinda' sorta' if you can count self-censorship. "Where are the FIVE ARTIFACTS that are the KEY to UNDOING EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE?" Little did he know, every time the artifacts were used to change the world, they were pointlessly spread out to obscure locations to make them nearly impossible to use again without a tedious amount of searching! What a plot twist! WHERE WILL THIS LEAD? WHO WILL POST NEXT? WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYONE BUT INSTANT? FIND OUT NEXT TIIIIIIIIME! Edited by Kiorein, Sep 12 2009, 07:16 PM.
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| Kiorein | Sep 7 2009, 12:53 PM Post #227 |
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Italic Novice
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GT whipped out the minion booklet. He began to sort through the papers. "Ah, Kiorein and his friends are all our minions now!" he cried with glee. "I think I'll call Kiorein and see what he's up to right now!" He pressed some buttons on the spare gigantic TV. Kiorein was holding Zaph threateningly by the collar of his shirt. "FIX MY PROBLEM, FIX MY PRO-" suddenly, a catchy ringtone was heard. "Hold on I gotta take this," said Kiorein, answering his phone. "Yeah." "Yeah?" repeated GT, mockingly. "What insubordination is this? What are you doing right now?" "Who is this?" "WHO IS THIS! THIS IS GT, CO-RULER OF THE WORLD!" "Ohhh hey GT! Hey, remember that time when you are all HEY I GOT THE CHAO, and we were all GIVE IT BACK and you got rid of all the P'zones, yeah I remember that, anyways I'm still kinda mad, I liked--" GT put his finger on the mute button while Kiorein blathered on. "SHIFTSHAPER!" he wailed. "The King!" replied Shiftshaper in a muffled voice as he headed into the communications room. "What?" replied Shiftshaper, swallowing his bacon. "What is the meaning of this?" said GT, lifting his finger from the mute button. "So anyways, GT, you said you were Co-ruler of the world? Yeah so you can expect me and my action squad to totall-" GT put his finger back on the mute button and turned back to Shiftshaper. "Well, that sounded like Kiorein," "Yes, why isn't Kiorein our minion?" snarled GT. "Look, maybe I messed up a little bit, but no big deal, we can handle them! No problem!" "Who knows what other mistakes you've made! We've gotta act now, and quickly!" added GT, throwing his hands into the air for effect. "Huh, I think GT hung up on me," said Kiorein, hanging up his phone. "So, GT had a hand in this?" said Cooker. "It figures. Did he say anything about the others?" "No, he didn't say much at all," "So, the only people still around here are me, you, and Zaph," "ZAPH! FIX THE PROBLEM OR I PUNCH YOU AGAIN!" shouted Kiorein. "I already told you, like EIGHT TIMES, there's nothing I can do!" shouted Zaph. "USE YOUR TECHNO MACHINES TO FIX IT!" "Look!" shouted Zaph. "Most of my machines mysteriously stopped working when the world got taken over! Only ones working are the Chizzler-" "I broke that a minute ago," said Kiorein. "And the character creation machine, but it's not running at full capacity, I think it will only be able to make one character," "We don't need a new character, we just gotta find the others, they've got to be somewhere," said Cooker. "Seems like a bunch of stuff in the world has been randomized. They've probably been moved elsewhere, or modified." said Zaph. "I could try building some sort of tracker, but who knows how that would work," "In the mean time, Kio, we should probably try looking for them," Suddenly, Khrene entered. "Hey guys, what's going on?" he asked. "Eh, world got taken over," replied Kiorein. "We've got to find everybody!" "I have Stair's phone number!" shouted Khrene. He whipped out his phone and made a call. "Hey Stair!" "How do you keep getting my phone number? And how are you even calling me?" replied Stairmaster, before hanging up and turning off his phone. "He answered, but he's a big jerk head," replied Khrene, frowning. |
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| Khrene | Sep 11 2009, 08:44 PM Post #228 |
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"So do you know where to contact anyone else, Khrene?" Asked Zaph. "No, not really...Whelp" Khrene sighed in a stroke of new-found laziness "Nothing to do but watch TV" Khrene sat on Kio's couch and did so. On the TV showed up a commercial for... "PROFESSOR PAINTING'S ARTIFACT SQUAD! Yes, that's right you can join a team of super duper artifact hunting scholars! You get to take artifacts, run away from boulders, fight Nazis, magical Turtles and Monarchists, AND get the hot girl whom with you have a child with and then you and the child get a sequel that gets raped by Lucas Georgenson! ALL WITH CHRISTIAN OVERTONES! Just call one eight hundred Paintin'! thats 1 (800) 724-6846!! Call now and get a free Painting Avarice Lunch Pail!" "Alright lets call!" Zaph exclaimed. "THEN GET THE PHONE!" Angered Kio Zaph complied in order to not get hurt. Meanwhile at where ever GT is, he also saw the commercial in his newly replaced big screen. GT started "SHIFT-" "DAMMIT IT'S THE KING! DO I HAVE TO GET ROYAL ON YOUR ROOKIE ASS!" "Well, damn, then I don't think you wanna hear my lead on the whereabouts of the artifacts!" "Look, I'm sorry it's just with the whole dispersal thing and my turkey bacon isn't crispy," "Mm-shall I call a marriage counselor for my sirs?" inquired Instant. "HEY I DIDN'T WANT A SNAPPY SARCASTIC BUTLER I WANTED AN OBEDIENT BUTLER!" "Mm-whatever you say sir..." |
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Swanson
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Sep 12 2009, 08:19 AM Post #229 |
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Italic Novice
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Meanwhile in the Prehistoric Times... "I've been here for over 6 months, fending off Dinosaurs and trying to get back to my own time" Action Man monologued as he punched a T-Rex in the face. "All I know is that when I get back, Shiftshaper is going to pay." Suddenly there was a flashing light and Action Dad appeared. "Son! What have you done" Action Dad screamed in shock. "I didn't do anything, it was my brother." "But, I saw you take an artifact and now here we are in Prehistoric Times!" screamed Action Dad punching a Velociraptor in the face. "It was Shiftshaper he seems to have gotten mom's powers and is using them for evil!" "If your mother knew about this she'd be turning over in her grave" said Action Dad as Action Man gave him a surprised look. "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, your mother was killed by a robot" Action Dad said "Sorry, it just kinda slipped my mind." Back in the ruined present... Professor Painting was busy teaching one of his classes when the phone rang. "Uh....you'll have to excuse me for a second" said Painting staring at a girl who had " I love u" written on here eyes. "Hello" Painting answered. "Painting, it's Enolc you have to come down to the Artifact Center right now" Said Enolc, Painting's secretary. "What's so important that it should interrupt my teachings." Painting said "After running the ad I've gotten calls from a Mr. Kiorein Kevereth and his crew of 4, I also got a call from Stairmaster and a call from...your not going to believe this." Enolc paused. "What!" screamed Painting intrigued. "King GT and King Shiftshaper" Enolc said. Painting quickly hung up the phone, told his class that business had arrived and hopped out the window, into his car and drove away. "Why does he always do this" said some student. |
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http://www.youtube.com/user/YourVisualMotion Changing the world, one video at a time. | |
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Srol 
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Nov 19 2009, 10:05 PM Post #230 |
Italic Novice
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Stair hung up the phone. "That secretary was in to me. I'm going to return to watching TV now." Except he couldn't because Srol was standing in front of the TV. And was really close to Stairmaster's face. "I'm inside your house," Srol whispered before Stairmaster punched through his chest. "That was really creepy, and you're the jerk who sent us on a wild goose chase earlier for those nazis who weren't there," Stair said while lighting Srol on fire. "That wasn't my fault," Srol said. "I was taught, ever since a young age, that anyone who plays basketball is a nazi." Stair shook his head, "What terrible parenting." "I can help you!" said Srol. "But first, explain to me everything that's happenned up to the point where I started terrorizing the taco place in this very city." |
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| Stairmaster | Jan 2 2010, 08:48 PM Post #231 |
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"Ok, go ahead" Asked Stairmaster replying to this post that did not leave him much to do. |
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Pregga Zexas
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Jan 3 2010, 12:38 AM Post #232 |
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Meanwhile, in a significantly more interesting location... Painting dramatically leaped through a window into the Artifact Center and rolled to stand up in front of the front desk. "Professor! You're here fast! And you broke the window again! That's going to cost a lot to repair! Awesome!" "Enolc, my crass companion! Could I inquire this commotion concerning a couple of crazy Kings contacting my carefully concealed communications kept for a crack congregation of consecrated concept inquisition?" "I... What?" "What'd GT and Shiftshaper call my ad number for?" "King Shiftshaper wanted information on artifacts your squad has located before, and if they included five relics of wish-granting power. King GT also insisted that they had called 'now' and they want their free Painting Avarice Lunch Pail." "Nowhere in that ad did I say the lunch pail was free." "Your ad specifically says 'Call now and get a free Painting Avarice Lunch Pail.'" "No, I meant the lunch pails were free for ME because I stole them and painted my handsome face onto them! They have to pay." "They also offered help to find artifacts!" Painting raised an eyebrow. "Help us? My ad obviously implied rebellion against them. They'd have to be complete idiots to not be able to tell!" "Do you want free money or not?" "Did somebody say FREE MONEY?" Painting's eyes turned into gigantic dollar signs, a result from his horrible medical condition that turns his eyes into things he's thinking about. "Yes. I said it. Because they said it. Over the phone. They want to give you free money to help you find the artifacts." Painting smiled broadly. "Ha! Those fools! They think that this investment will secure the artifacts for them, but in truth, I will immediately use the artifacts to restore the world to its former glory! I might also bring back p'zones, create lots of large-breasted female characters and make it so that no pair of underwear in the world could ever be uncomfortable." "Those are ambitious goals, Professor," nodded Enolc, but in secret, secretive secret thoughts were secretly going through his head. Little does 'Professor' Painting know, I am secretly working for King GT, as I have always been! Mwahahaha! My constant flip-flopping between being a goodguy and being a badguy confuses even me! As soon as we get those artifacts, I'll turn them over to King GT and receive my handsome reward: Ten dollars! I'LL BE RICH! "Hey, Enolc, my loyal secretary, you're not ever gonna' betray me, are you?" "Pfft. No." "Oh, good! Then do you mind having full knowledge of my social security number and credit card information? No real reason, I just thought someone as trustworthy as you should know these things about me." Enolc felt the stabbing pain of betrayal (of someone else) but knew he had a duty to betray Painting for ten dollars. |
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Fambure 
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Jan 28 2010, 06:53 PM Post #233 |
Italic Initiate
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Sitting in the Taco Hut.. Falcon An extremely minor and incidental character Falcon chewed on a nacho, one of countless thousands in the large trough in front of him. "Mermph... 'lotta nachos." Edited by Fambure, Feb 22 2010, 03:46 AM.
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Pregga Zexas
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Jan 31 2010, 06:02 PM Post #234 |
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Italic Beginner
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Nazi stormtroopers suddenly broke down the door of the Taco Hut and began shooting up the place. The tenants began running around screaming as bullets whizzed by, destroying their Taco-esque treats. Falcon did not look up from his nacho trough, too enwrapped in the delicious cheesiness of the nachos. Schnippshly stomped into the Taco Hut, backed up by two bodyguards. "Zis is der Geheime Staatspolizei!" he shouted. "The what??" asked a terrified taco-eater. "DER GESTAPO!" he screamed, cracking the butt of his rifle on the insolent taco-eating fool's face. "I don't see why you had to hit me over that!" Schnippshly looked at Falcon enjoying his nachos and stomped over furiously. "Cease zese nacho-eating shenanigans at once!" Falcon did not hear, for the nachos were simply too delicious. "If you do not get over on der wall with zee others, you vill be branded as a rebel against der King(s)!" Despite the imminent danger of being hit in the face with a rifle butt, Falcon still did not look up. "ZAT EES EET!" Schnippshly yelled, kicking over the nacho trough, spilling the nachos within, thus making them nachos without. Falcon paused. He stared blankly, unable to comprehend what just happened. "... My... My nachos..." he muttered. Schnippshly and the other Nazis laughed at Falcon's pain as he looked upon the once-glorious nachos. "Now... Arrest that man!" said Schnippshly to his soldiers. The soldiers grabbed Falcon's arms. As they pulled Falcon to his feet, Falcon looked up and glared. "My nachos... MY NACHOS!!!" Falcon was suddenly covered in a fiery energy, blasting the Nazis off with sheer willpower. "Holy sh- SHOOT HIM!" yelled Schnippshly. The Nazis began firing, but Falcon leaped into the pile of nachos and disappeared. "Search it!" shouted one of the soldiers. They ran up and surrounded the nachos, kicking nachos away. After they spread all the nachos out flat, it was revealed that Falcon wasn't there at all! "Zat man is wanted for resisting arrest!" declared Schnippshly dramatically. "Whoever he was, minor and incidental though he may be, he must be brought to justice! And then I vill punch him in ze face for zis insult!" |
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| The Turtle Guy | Apr 29 2010, 06:05 AM Post #235 |
Italic Initiate
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MEANWHILE, THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY.... |
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| Kiorein | Jun 6 2010, 03:11 PM Post #236 |
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Italic Novice
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...Or just miles away, depending on the way you look at it. Back at Stairmaster's Apartment.... "And that's what happened," concluded Stair. "Mmm hmm, mmm hmm," nodded Srol. "I totally understand. That explains why we're roommates in this apartment. Well, the solution is clear, we have to band together with your other 'friends' and help them locate the five artifacts of unbelievable power and accessibility!" "Or we could just hang out here, watch some TV and have some snacks," Stair suggested. "You're not going to get very far in life with that attitude...Now look, we're going to have to do this sooner or later," Later on, after hours of plot... Kiorein and Stair sped along in the desert on their motorcycles, a helicopter overhead, firing at them with a machine gun. They were racing for a large pyramid in the center of the Whateverian Desert, the confirmed location of one of the five artifacts. "I'm glad we skipped all that narrative!" stair master started, before blasting at the helicopter with his handgun." Schnippshly, the helicopter's pilot, evaded the gunfire and returned fire. "Stop driving around and shooting at me with der bullets, just die!" he shouted. Then, the outrageously loud system on the helicopter turned on and GT's voice was heard. "Are you finished killing Kiorein and Stairmaster, yet?" "No, mein fuhrer, but uh--" "What? Don't interrupt me! You know the plan, right?" "Yes, but they can he-" "Look! The plan is to trick them into thinking we're on their side and get them to split up while we kill all of them and retrieve the artifacts for ourselves!" "Yes mein fuhrer, but the com system on zis sing is too loud, zey can here us!" "Oh. Well kill them and it's not a problem!" "Hey Stair, did you hear that?" Kiorein asked. "Sounds like this is a trap. Maybe we could have inferred that from the helicopter waiting for us and then shooting at us, but now we know for sure!" "Yeah." Stair replied, firing at Schnippshly's helicopter some more. "I'll give them a call!" Kiorein said. "Looks like I've only got Khrene's cell..." Stairmaster quickly snatched the cell phone out of Kio's hand and threw it into the sand. "NOOO don't call him! Look we just gotta do this!" "Well, whatever." Kiorein and Stair sped up and left the helicopter in the dust, which only brought up questions as to why they hadn't done so sooner. "I wonder how the others are doing on their individual fantastic advenutres," Kiorein pondered. |
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Swanson
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Jun 6 2010, 03:59 PM Post #237 |
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Italic Novice
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Meanwhile.... Shiftshaper was busy doing absolutely nothing, he let GT and the nazi handle all of the work, seeing no eventual problem in not taking a hand in the affairs himself. As he was watching his favorite program, "People worshipping Shiftshaper," a thought crossed his mind, could sending his brother and father back in time eventually cause changes to happen so drastic that they could spell the end of the world? "Nah" he muttered to himself as he continued watching TV. Meanwhile in the Prehistoric Times... Thanks to the handy-dandy narrative leap, Action Man and Action Dad were the rulers of all dinosaurs. Beating them all into submission. In fact, they had begun teaching the dinosaurs how to be as strong as them. The dinosaurs became so strong that when the meteor that was meant to wipe them out came they simply smashed it with their mighty dino fists. "Something tells me that is not good" Action Man said, flexing for no apparent reason. "Ah, what's the worst that could happen." Action Dad replied. Back in the present... Shiftshaper heard a tons of noise from outside and went to the window to look. To his surprise he found dinosaurs running amok eating citizens and robots and causing all sorts of mayhem. "When did we get dinosaurs?" Edited by Swanson, Jun 6 2010, 04:01 PM.
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http://www.youtube.com/user/YourVisualMotion Changing the world, one video at a time. | |
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| Stairmaster | Jun 6 2010, 04:42 PM Post #238 |
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Italic Member
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MEANWHILE BACK WITH THE IMPORTANT CHARACTERS. Stair carefully smashed the ancient pyramid wall in with a crowbar, destroying thousands of years of history with masterful precision. "Doesn't that sorta thing give people curses?" Kiorein asked. "Whose the archaeologist here?" Retorted Stair as his face turned ever so slightly pale unbeknown to him. Kio frowned and proceeded to follow Stair into the pyramid depths. "It's pretty dark," Said Stair. "Did you bring a light?" "No." Stair then promptly somehow slanted his mouth diagonal to express his disapproval. Of course it was pitch black so no-one could see this. "Of course I did," Kio responded as he turned on the flashlight and pointed it at the velicoraptor standing in front of them. "..." "..." "caw caw" "AW FUCK, DINOSAURS!" Stair shouted as the velicoraptor leaped at them. MEANWHILE AT SHAPESHIFTHOUSE Shapeshifterman was busy being nothing more than a set piece for exposition so he did not notice the covert enterance of the mysterious figure in black. This changed when the figure shot the television. "OH GOD MY TV" Shout Shapeshifterman oblivious to the peril he faced. "HOW DARE YOU. I AM THE EMP... wait what exactly am I? Am I like a king or a generalissimo? I should have been more clear with those artifacts-" "Enough," said the man in black. "I've been waiting 350 days for this moment," "Wait I know you-" "Murder begets murder," said Murderman as he leveled his gun and pulled the trigger. Unfortunately at that moment Shapeshifterman activated the escape pod function on his Generic Ruler Chair from which he watched TV. He quickly shot through a hatch in the ceiling and flew out of the building. "Whelp," declared Murderman as he stared up into the hole and at the night sky. He then left the palace thing dejected. |
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Pregga Zexas
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Jun 6 2010, 05:33 PM Post #239 |
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Italic Beginner
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Schnippshly leapt from his Nazi helicopter as it crashed into the side of the pyramid. He landed on the ground dramatically, two Nazi stormtroopers at his side. "Der excavators are spelunking in zis pyramid!" declared Schnippshly, pulling out his submachine gun and leading his troops down into the pyramid's dark depths. After a few minutes, wandering through the dark depths of the ancient structure with dim flashlights, the socialist party members heard a horrible screeching: "CAW! CAW!" "Vhat vas zat!?" yelped one Nazi. "Calm yourself, Hans!" said the other. "It's probably just a mummy." Hans relaxed a little. "You're probably right. With our ample supply of bullets and grenades, we could take on a hundred mummies." Meanwhile... "AW FUCK, DINOSAURS!" Stairmaster shouted as the velociraptor leapt for him, giving a horrible roar as it did so. Before the raptor could reach Stair, it was struck with a deafening hail of gunfire. Stairmaster and Kiorein reeled from the noise. As they recovered, they saw Schnippshly and his bodyguards. "Wow, you saved us!" said Kiorein gratefully. "I take back all the times I called you a huge douche." "I WOULD NOT BE SO QUICK TO TAKE BACK SUCH DOUCHE-RELATED INSULTS!" snapped Schnippshly. "Give me der artifact!" Kiorein shook his head and shrugged. "We haven't even found it yet! That's why we're at this pyramid. We're looking for it." "You don't have it!?" growled Schnippshly. "Why in ze hell was I ordered to kill you, zen?" Before anyone could make up a dumb answer, MORE VELOCIRAPTORS ATTACKED! "Let's beat feet!" declared Kiorein as he and Stairmaster absconded from the scene. They heard screams and gunfire echoing behind them as they rushed headfirst into the unknown depths of the pyramid. |
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| Stairmaster | Jun 6 2010, 06:15 PM Post #240 |
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Italic Member
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15 MINUTES LATER "Mein fuhrer, we've found an enormous casket," Said Field Marshal Model as the werchmat troops, reinforcements called in when no mummies were found to be shot and only the boredom of searching the pyramid discovered, finished cleaning up the raptor corpses. "Ah yes zis must be where ze artifacts are," Schnippshly deduced. The soldiers quickly pulled off the fifty foot cover of the casket and before them stood the dark abyss. Meanwhile with our heroes "Hey I know this from that one archeology seminar I attended once," Stair exclaimed joyfully as he examined the hieroglyphics. "What kind of seminar is that?" Asked Kiorein. "A five year long one," Stair responded shuddering at the horrors of being trapped in there. "They wouldn't let us out till we demonstrated complete fluency. My wife and newborn child had completely disappeared by the time I had gotten out," Stair said tearing up. "Wait you had a fami-" "Anyways this appears to be the ruins of the ancient technolaseropolis civilization. All who tamper with it or try to discover its secrets will face an untimely end," MEANWHILE BACK WITH THE COOL KIDS. "FORWARD" Shouted Schnippshly as he gestured for a squad of grenadiers to enter. After they disappeared into the darkness numerous screams were heard. "IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING" Shouted Schnippshly as he prepared another squad to head once more unto the breach. Unfortunately the ground started shaking and from the darkness emerged: AHA-SAUROS REX: THE SECOND PHAROH OF THE DINO-DYNASTY. This reptilian menace stared from it's mummy wrapping with it's one exposed cybernetically augmented eye. "IT WANTS VENGANCE FOR DISTURBING IT'S GRAVE," shouted Herr Model. This sudden loud noise sent the Cyborg Mummy into a murderous rage as it shot a laser from it's eye at Model bisecting him horizontally. The other soldiers responded with deutsch professionalism as they opened fire without mercy upon the RoboMummy Dinosaur abomination who responded by firing rocket artillery. Unfortunately the Pharaoh would prove to have the strength of two hundred mummies... Edited by Stairmaster, Jun 6 2010, 06:23 PM.
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