| The Escapades of Kiorein and Pals! Season 2!; It's Escapaderrific!™ | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 11 2009, 03:20 PM (5,300 Views) | |
| Kiorein | Jun 6 2010, 06:57 PM Post #241 |
Italic Novice
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There was a loud explosion and the entire pyramid shook, sending dust into the air. "Did you hear that?" Kiorein asked. "No, I didn't Kio, there wasn't any explosion," "No need for sarcasm," "I think the Nazis are in danger, we should go help them!" Stair shouted. "I dunno, weren't they trying to kill us a little while ago?" "Yeah but then they started helping us!" "Good point! Let's go save 'em!" "Well, I said we should go help them, not that we will. I don't wanna die." Stair responded flatly. "So, what do we know about the artifact itself? Other than the fact that we'll die if we try to get it," "It looks like this," Stairmaster pointed to a hieroglyph. It was shaped like an ankh. Meanwhile, back with Schnippshly... Schnippshly wiped some blood from his mouth and took a combat stance. All of his weapons had been used up, and he was left to hand-to-hand combat. His soldiers were all whiped out by the dinosaur's incredible attacks, and he was the only one left standing. He activated his superpower box, which replaced his beloved timebox. Ahasourus responded by firing a laser at Schnippshly, which he deflected with a mighty punch. Schnippshly then ran up a wall and did three flips and kicked the Ahasaurus into a wall, causing it crash painfully. Schnippshly smirked and ran up to him, barraging him with extremely rapid punches, and topped the assault off with an incredible uppercut. He then suplexed him through a stack of ancient cardboard boxes. Schnippshly crossed his arms smugly. "Now do find der artifact now that I haff defeated zis pathetic dinosaur," then the Ahasaurus blasted through Schnippshly's chest with a laser. He toppled over. "Got dammit," Schnippshly whined, taking out the superpower box. "Der batteries died again," Ahasaurus Rex stood up and approached Schnippshly menacingly. However, totally unexpectably, Kiorein and Stairmaster came to the rescue. "Hey buddy, you have an artifact of ultimate power laying around here anywhere?" Kiorein asked. "Oh yeah it's right over there," Ahasaurus Rex replied, pointing at an Ankh laying on the floor. Stair went and picked it up. "Wait, jew were... nice?" Schnippshly asked. "Yeah, your friends just smelled bad, so I murdered them," "Zat's not... very nice at all..." Schnippshly muttered before putting his head down and closing his eyes. Stairmaster then threw a blanket over him. "He died as he lived," he elipogued. "What's zat supposed to mean?" Schnippshly replied. "OH GOD HE'S A ZOMBIE!" Kiorein assumed as he fled with Stair. "Those guys were kinda rude, but oh well," Ahasaurus said before returning to his slumber. |
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Swanson 
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Jun 6 2010, 07:43 PM Post #242 |
Italic Novice
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As Stairmaster and Kio exited the pyramid they hit what felt like a large group of brick walls, upon further inspection it turned out to be not walls, but people, they were not ordinary people however, they were... The Action Squad!! The descendants of Action Man and Action Dad*! "What the hell is this?" Stair grimaced looking at their bronzed physiques in amazement. "We are the Action Squad, and we're here to help you by...KICKING ASS!!!!!" screamed Action Man XXI as the entire squad, even the woman, flexed, causing their shirts to rip off. Meanwhile.... Painting and Enolc had found the location of another artifact. "It's right down this dark and dreary hole." Enolc said to Painting, who promptly dived in without light of any kind. He hit the ground, completely uninjured, cause that's how he rolls, and shouted back up to Enolc. "Enolc, send down the light." Enolc reluctantly threw down the torch which immediately set the entire area on fire, but at least Painting could see! What he happened to see, however, was snakes. "Snakes...why does it have to be snakes." Painting would yell. Of course, these were not ordinary snakes, they were 10 times bigger than your average snake and they were all guarding the artifact..."Enolc, send down the submachine gun." Painting would say confidently. "Uh...sir...we never had one of those, you said all you needed was a whip." Enolc would shout back. "Well....dammit." *who, when not ruling over dinosaurs, were busy getting it on with the cavewoman. Edited by Swanson, Jun 6 2010, 07:46 PM.
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http://www.youtube.com/user/YourVisualMotion Changing the world, one video at a time. | |
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Pregga Zexas 
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Jun 7 2010, 02:41 PM Post #243 |
Italic Beginner
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Meanwhile, back at the pyramid... Action Hunk flexed his unbelievably large man muscles and smiled, his solid-white teeth gleaming in the sunlight. "Hop on my shoulders, boys!" "Aw, yeah!" Stairmaster and Kiorein quickly hopped onto Action Hunk's bronze shoulders. He carried them both with great ease as he flexed some more. "AWAY, COMRADES!" shouted Action Man XXI. They all used their super-strong legs to leap into the air, towards the next artifact. Schnippshly emerged from the entrance of the pyramid. He had a huge band-aid over his chest. Several of his soldiers lay on the ground next to him, torn to shreds by dinosaurs only an hour before. Schnippshly stumbled over to a radio man, whose radio was unharmed, although the radio man's face could hardly make the same boast. "Come in, HQ! I need another helicopter! I also need about a hundred more soldiers to throw away." "Jawohl, Herr Field Marshall!" shouted a voice over the radio. "Anyzing else, Herr Field Marshall?" Before Schnippshly could answer, a large, reptilian foot stepped on the dead radio man and his radio. Schnippshly stared up. A tyrannosaurus rex stared back down at him. "Jew broke mein radio!!!" screamed Schnippshly. "Jew vill pay for zis!" Schnippshly prepared to bring on the beat-downs, when suddenly two more T-Rex appeared. "Drei versus eins?" Schnippshly did his best to look unimpressed. "I can deal vith zese odds." "Jew won't have to, Herr Field Marshall!" said a voice from within the pyramid. Schnippshly turned, and saw two Nazi stormtroopers emerge, covered in bandages. "Hans! Franz! Person of Jewish Heritage or Religion made it!" Hans smirked. "Of course, Herr Field Marshall! Now let's make zese reptiles wish they vere still extinct!" Schnippshly, Hans and Franz all leapt at the T-Rex dramatically. Elsewhere... Painting looked around at the snakes that were moving in on him. "I'm Painting, the master thief. I'm twice the snake these snakes will ever be. All I need to do is get past them with an absurd and unlikely combination of acrobatic moves, and-" "Since when were you 'the master thief'?" asked Enolc. "Shut up, Enolc! God, I hate you so much! Why didn't you get assigned to Stairmaster? You guys are, like, best friends. "Kiorein thought we would work better if we were assigned with our worst enemies." Painting thought for a bit. "Enolc, I've got an idea!" "Yeah, what is it?" asked Enolc. Painting threw a rock at Enolc's face. The rock struck Enolc and he plummeted down the whole, landing in front of Painting, his neck broken. "Oh, sorry, that wasn't really the plan." One of the snakes rose up and unzipped itself. Enolc stood inside. "What's the big idea?" snapped Enolc, throwing a rock at Painting. Painting dodged the rock, and observed as all of the snakes closed in on Enolc. "Here's the plan!" shouted Painting. "You distract them with your infinite lives, I grab the artifact and run!" "What? That sounds like an awful plaAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Enolc screamed, for the snakes were upon him. Painting casually strolled up to the artifact and took it. He used his grappling hook to escape from the hole. He looked back down at Enolc. "OK, I'll meet you at... Wherever the meeting place is!" "ANYWHERE BUT THE TACO HUUUUUUUUUT!" shouted Enolc as he was engulfed in venomous vipers. Painting quickly made his way to the nearest Taco Hut. |
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Swanson
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Jul 23 2010, 04:51 PM Post #244 |
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Italic Novice
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As Painting made his way into the Taco Hut he discovered that the others were already waiting for him. "Khrene, Cooker, Enolc!" Painting said happy to see that they had artifacts. "You're alive, and more importantly, you have the artifacts!" Everyone nodded not talking for some weird reason, almost like they were being held hostage. "It's weird that you guys aren't talking, almost like you're being held hostage. Anyway I got a new artifact for us, hopefully Kio and Stair make it back with the next one. Then all we need is one more!" Khrene exposited. "That's all we need to hear." GT would say as he came out from hiding behind the counter. "GT! How did you know we would be here!" "You hung up flyers!" GT would say holding up one of the flyers that read, "Secret Meeting about artifacts tonight at 7 at Taco Hut!" "Damn, I knew those flyers were too much." "Arrest them!" GT would say as troops stormed into the Taco Hut making a big commotion, breaking windows, and flipping tables. Meanwhile... The Action Squad, Kio, and Stair all landed in a dark and dreary forest. "Looks like this is the place for the next artifact" Kio said as he and Stair got off Action Hunk's shoulders. "Where could it be?" Stair thought out loud "There!" Action Man XXI shouted pointing at a golden glowing object in the nearby river. However, before they could grab the artifact they were halted by a T-Rex, followed by 2 more. "Dat's as far as you go!" Shouted Schnippshly as he, Hans, and Franz rode their T-Rexes. A couple of feet away... "You sure you actually found an artifact this time Jofir, last time you just took us to buy Twizzlers." M said as he and Jofir attempted to find an artifact. "Yeah, it's right...." Jofir would be cut off as he revealed the river holding the artifact and 3 T-Rexes next to it. "Great...first we lose the rest of the gang and now we have to fight dinosaurs," whined M. "Well, it isn't nearly as bad as that intense battle we had against those killer robots as we struggled for one of those artifacts a couple hours ago!" Jofir replied. "Yeah that was-" M was interrupted as violence broke out in the area. |
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http://www.youtube.com/user/YourVisualMotion Changing the world, one video at a time. | |
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| Stairmaster | Aug 7 2010, 01:16 AM Post #245 |
Italic Member
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Unfortunately Schnippshly had picked the wrong crew to ambush as Action Man XXI immediately ripped a tree out of the dirt and swung at Schnippshly's T-rex like a bat. The T-rex roared as it toppled over throwing it's rider to the ground. The rest of The action squad leapt into action subduing the vile beasts with their fists of action. Kio pulled out his gun and pointed it at schnippshly. "Schnippshly why'd you betray us?" Kiorein asked. "Yeah, remember all the good times we had teaming up together" added in Stairmaster. "What good times?" Responded Schnippshly. "What about when there was that election?" Asked kio. "I was running against you two and I am pretty sure zere were several fights between us," "What about that time we fought against GT?" asked stair. "I betrayed you, remember?" "No, because we never finished that episode" Schnippshly then slanted his mouth diagonally to show his disapproval of Stairmaster breaking the fourth wall. "So why did you do it?" asked Kio. "zat ist easy," explained Schnippshly. "I did it because-" and was interrupted as the roar of a Stuka as it strafed at Kiorein. Kio adequately jumped out of the way of the machine gunfire but failed to stop Schnippshly as he got up and simply ran away. "Darn now we'll have to chase after him," exclaimed Kio. "No I'll go after him," Retorted Stair. "I created him so only I can destroy him," "... what" "I dunno, it sounded cool" And then they took off; stair in search of schnippshly and Kiorein heading for the artifact. ***** "WAIT," Shouted a desperate M, pinned under a tree knocked over from all the violence, as everyone ran off. "Don't leave me," he started to sob. Jofir was busy looking at a butterfly or something you never know with that kid. "Jofir, you're going to have to help me out of here," remarked M. "Sure thin-" Jofir was about to respond before he noticed the sign labeled "Twizzler factory" with an arrow pointing in the direction of said structure. Overpowered by the allure of what it implied Jofir sprung off abandoning M to his miserable fate. |
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| Kiorein | Sep 18 2010, 10:40 AM Post #246 |
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Italic Novice
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Kiorein headed over to the river, standing an contemplating as the action squad and the T-rexes wrestled all around him, slamming into the ground, exchanging blows and bites and punches. He rubbed his chin in contemplation, as he looked at the nondescript artifact that was wedged in between some rocks at the bed of the river. The river rushed rapidly, and there was no hope of swimming down there to get it. "My whole life has led up to this moment..." Stairmaster said, as he dashed through the forest and spotted Schnippshly. "Schnippshly, your reign of terror ends here." he said in a low voice, hiding in the shadows. Schnippshly had stopped and was resting and panting from his run. He looked around "Who said that!?" Stairmaster stepped out from his stealthy location, stepping forth. "STAIRMASTER!?" Schnippshly exclaimed. "Vait, zat's not surprising at all, ve vere just right next to each ozer," Stairmaster lifted his gun and pointed it squarely at Schnippshly's face. His lips curled ever-so-slightly into a smirk. "It's over." He pulled the trigger. Schnipsshly toppled over, lifeless. Stairmaster turned around and dropped his gun, wandering off. "The nightmare is finally over. Schnippshly is dead." he monologued to himself as he began to ramble on about his horrific past and wander around in the forest. After Stairmaster was out of sight Schnippshly smiled and winked at nobody in particular and said, "Little did he know, he sucks at aiming and didn't even hit me!" After Stair's dramatic battle, Kiorein stood triumphant, holding the artifact in his hands, only his hair wet. "Wow, that plan was magnificent and breathtaking, and now I have the artifact, now to get it back to my pals who I have hilarious escapades with! Man, that was a really long and forced sentence!" |
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| Stairmaster | Oct 8 2010, 04:51 PM Post #247 |
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Italic Member
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And so stair valiantly returned after the dramatic flashback story arc that we decided against telling you considering how long this stupid episode has been dragging on before immediately realizing he had left his gun behind for no reason. "I left my gun back with Schnippshly's corpse, can I borrow yours?" Stairmaster asked. Kiorein frowned and shaked his head. "Just take one from one of the dead Nazis and help me carry this artifact," Kio said as he threw it to stair. "Now we have to go get the last artifact from taco hut," He added. "Wait how are we even finding these things?" Stair asked. Kio's eyes widened in shock as he realized he had no idea. "Who cares?" Shouted the leader of the Action Squad with candor as he jump kicked stair in the face for insolently bringing up these plot holes. "Let's go get that artifact and perhaps some frosty shakes as well!" And so our heroes took off towards the last artifact, their captive friends, and their destiny... |
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Swanson
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Oct 9 2010, 06:44 AM Post #248 |
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Italic Novice
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As Stair, Kio, and the Action Squad had made their way to Taco Hut, stopping to get victory shakes along the way, they noticed something odd, the Taco Hut looked like it had been broken in. They shrugged and decided to go in anyway, assuming Painting had just forgotten the keys again. What they found inside shocked them. It was the villainous GT Koopa! "About time you guys showed up! We've been waiting forever! Now then, capture them!" GT would shout as soldiers came out from behind the counter, under tables, even in trash cans. Stair and Kio smirked as they were surrounded by soldiers waiting for the Action Squad to burst in at any moment however they had vanished, all that was left was a bunch of shakes on the ground. ": /" Said Stairmaster as he and Kio were captured by the soldiers. Meanwhile in Prehistoric Times Action Man and Action Dad sat around their Action Cave waiting for the other cave dwellers to bring back food. As they waited they saw a flashing light and ran out towards it to find Shiftshaper! "You guys have caused way too much trouble for me! So guess where I'm sending you next?" Shiftshaper was not given the time to finish as Action Man and Action Dad pummeled him. However they beat him up a bit too much it would seem as his machinery was all over the place. Wait...machinery!? "This isn't Shiftshaper, it's a robot." Action Man pointed out as if this was a brilliant deduction. The beaten up, but not quite destroyed robot would then let out a gas, no not that kind sicko, it was a knock out gas. It worked wonderfully as the two Action Men fell over, unconscious. The robot would then explode opening a time portal that sucked in the two burly heroes...and one caveman who happened to be walking by. Meanwhile Shiftshaper stared out his window happy to see the dinosaurs disappearing. "Everything is going great! I'm glad I decided to have scientists who can make a time-traveling robot version of myself" Shiftshaper would exposit. "Now then, time to go brag to our prisoners for no real reason!" Shiftshaper would say gleefully as he went to the prison room. |
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http://www.youtube.com/user/YourVisualMotion Changing the world, one video at a time. | |
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| Kiorein | Oct 9 2010, 07:33 AM Post #249 |
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Italic Novice
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Shiftshaper approached Stairmaster, who was being savagely beaten by a big thuggish guard. "Stand down, the King is here," he said as he waved away the guard. Stairmaster looked up, his matted, long, filthy hair covering his face. "You'll never break me," he growled. "Break you? I was just having that guy beat the crap out of you, I don't see why we would even need to break you," "What did you do to the action squad!?" demanded Stairmaster. Shiftshaper let out a horrific laugh. "I used time travel to erase them from existence! They were never born!" "Wait, so how come we went on that adventure with them?" Shiftshaper quickly responded, "Well that's easy-- it's uh. They... existed in the past timeline for... a while, but they stopped existing... when I went back in time to make them not exist...?" "Eh, works for me," Stairmaster said. "Why did they put this wig on me?" "To make you look like you've been imprisoned for years or something, I dunno," Shiftshaper responded as he tossed away the matted hair wig. "Well, since you kinda ruined this little conversation with your stupid questions, I'm going to go brag to another one of your friends, like uh Painting, or Kio or somebody. Resume the beating," Shiftshaper walked off and the guard continued to pummel Stair. He approached Kiorein. "We have all the artifacts! The world is mine forever!" he laughed. Kiorein glared at Shiftshaper. "You'll never get away with this! There's gotta be somebody out there somewhere someplace that can help us!" "There is nobody left, I have ALL your friends captured!" And it was true, every one of Kiorein's friends were indeed captured! Meanwhile, at Zaph's lab... "It's no fair," Zaph sighed as he made some routine maintenance to one of his countless ambiguous machines. "Sometimes I might wanna go on an adventure too, but they always leave me behind. I bet right now they're having an awesome time, like uh, fighting nazis and finding treasure. Wait, I could go check that out with this machine that I'm working on right now, the one that lets me watch things that are going on in other places! I really should probably stop hanging out with Exposition Man so much, he's starting to rub off on me..." Zaph closed the hatch on the machine and turned it on. Several screens on the machine turned on, showing what each of our heroes were doing. To Zaph's shock and dismay, each of them were imprisoned. Zaph watched stair being pummeled, watched Kio being forced to endure conversation with Shiftshaper, glanced at Enolc being repeatedly shot and then replaced, and saw various other horrific tortures. "Barring an incredible escape plan, which those guys are too stupid to come up with, it's up to me to save them!" Zaph exclaimed. He stood tall and clenched his fist. "Time to gear up." |
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Pregga Zexas
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Oct 9 2010, 02:02 PM Post #250 |
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Italic Beginner
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"First, I have to call an old friend..." Zaph said to himself. He grabbed his rotary telephone and spun the dial. Schnippshly answered his phone. "Ja?" "Schnippshly, it's Zaph. Do you want to help me save Kio and pals?" "Vhy vould you vant to save zem?" Schnippshly asked. "Zey hate you. And I hate zem." "Well, that's true," muttered Zaph, "But they're the world's last hope! So will you help me save them and retrieve the artifacts?" "I am already doing zat," replied Schnippshly. "W-what?" stuttered Zaph. "Without me?" "Ja I am very busy I have to go now," said Schnippshly, hanging up his Nazi cell phone. Schnippshly eyed the table where the artifacts had been placed after having been retrieved from Kio and pals. One of the table guards waved at Schnippshly. "Oh, hey, Field Marshal Schnippshly!" "Uh, ja, hi..." he replied, uneasily. He looked down at the table with the artifacts. "Forgive me, Hero Table!" cried Schnippshly as he kicked one of the legs off of the table, into the face of a guard (somehow). He did a flying spin kick into the face of the other guard, and they were both out cold on the ground. Schnippshly picked up a piece of the artifact. It had a skull etched into it. "Ja...! This is it!" Schnippshly hissed in delight. Meanwhile... Stairmaster was incredibly busy being punched in his face. The guard's hands began to hurt as he continuously pummeled Stairmaster's face for no particular reason. "Jeez, time for my shift change," said the guard. Another guard entered the room. It was clearly Zaph with a mustache. "It's your turn to punch this guy, I'm gonna' go get a snack," said the guard to Zaph with a mustache. "Yes. Sure. That," said Zaph with a mustache, keeping his cover quite well. The guard left the room. Zaph tore off his mustache. "Stairmaster, it's me! I've come to free you!" Stairmaster rolled his eyes. "No, duh. Untie me already, you homo." Zaph frowned. "Aren't you happy to see me?" "I knew someone would come save us at some time because we're the goodguys." "You are really taking my heroic rescue for granted," Zaph complained as he untied Stairmaster. The guard from before walked in. "How's the beating going?" Zaph and Stairmaster froze. "I'm not sure how untying the prisoner will help you in the beating process." "I was... Going to, uh..." Zaph said as he quickly grasped for ideas, "I was, uh... I was going to make him beat himself up with his own fists." "That's a good idea!" replied the guard. "Let's-" but before the guard could finish his sentence, a bullet flew through his head. Schnippshly stood behind him, a luger in his hand, the barrel smoking. "Thanks, Schnippshly!" said Zaph. But Schnippshly didn't hear. Schnippshly held out his hand, a piece of the artifact grasped in his fingers. It glowed in a dark, evil fashion, as the dead guard suddenly stood up as a zombie. "Now I vill make a zombie army and rule der world meinself!" cackled Schnippshly. Schnippshly aimed his gun at Zaph and Stairmaster. "Jew may join me voluntarily, or... I will kill you and make you." "Can't argue with that!" said Stair. |
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| Stairmaster | Oct 10 2010, 08:59 AM Post #251 |
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"Wait, wouldn't a regular army be superior to a zombie army?" Stair asked. "How so?" Schnippshly asked. "For one thing zombies can't really fly planes or drive tanks or operate any real modern weaponry you'd need to oppress the widely armed populace of whereeverweare and whatever stupid countries you want," "But zey can't feel der fear, " "But they can't blitzkrieg either or take any initiative whatsoever," "SHUT UP AND COMMENCE ZE JOINING," Schnippshly shouted. Stairmaster frowned.' "What sort of benefits do we get?" Asked Kiorein. "You probably won't be dying in der citie streets charging der russians armed only with your belief in der final victory," "Sounds good to me," Replied Stairmaster. Five hours later The situation had gone critical the Russians had broken through the initial perimeter surrounding Neo-Schnippshlyopolis. Katusha rockets rained down on nearly every suburb and no help was forthcoming. "FRANZ HELP ME LOAD THE 88S" Stairmaster shouted as a T-34 rolled down the street towards their foxhole. "Hrrrrrrrrngh" Replied the undead Franz. "Stair you fagsmasher we can't hold out much longer and we were supposed to be fighting GT," Kiorein yelled as the t-34 opened fire on them. "Oh yeah, we probably should go do something about that," Stair responded. Luckily Neo-schnippshlyopolis, which was less of a city and more of a random street arbitrarily declared conquered by Schnippshly, was just across the river from GT's palace. Unfortunately one man stood in their way as they approached the bridge. "Where do jew think jew are heading?" Schnippshly shouted as he waved his Luger at our heroes menacingly. "Oh uh not deserting or anything," Said Kio. "Oh okay zen carry on," He said right before another voice shouted "NEIN" right before the crack of a gunshot echoed through the streets. Schnippshly fell to the ground with a gaping gun shot wound in his chest. Behind him stood yet another Schnippshly. "He was an impostor!" the second Schnippshly shouted angrily as the fallen one changed into the form of Shapeshifterman.' "Fool, " calmly responded Shapeshifter man as he pointed his gun at Schnippshly "I merely shape shifted into a man with a gunshot wound! Now pay for your insolence!" Unfortunately at that point he toppled over in sudden pain. "Oh, I guess you actually did shoot me," He said before passing out and bleeding to death. Kio and co stared at this surreal scene for several minutes before Stair finally interjected: "Welp how about we all go get some frosty shakes," "Fool frosty shakes are forbidden in my new world," Shouted GT as he flew in on his magic cloud. "And schnippshly why have you betrayed me?" "To gain power?" responded Schnippshly "What did you think would happen when you gathered all der antagonists and made them team up?" GT frowned at the obvious flaws in his plan being pointed out. "That wasn't even my plan! That was shapeshifter man's! Now cough up the artifact and at most you'll only lose your stable!" "NEIN I LOVE DER HORSES" Shouted Schnippshly as he shot at GT. Gt responded with his incredibly threatening shape beam and thus the battle for the fate of whatever stupid planet these guys live on began. |
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| Kiorein | Oct 10 2010, 09:57 AM Post #252 |
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Italic Novice
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"Guns!?" GT laughed as he maneuvered around the gunfire. "Dammit Stair!" Kiorein shouted. "I told you we should have broken Painting, Khrene, and Cooker out of jail! They would have made great cannon fodder!" GT pointed his magic staff at Stair and fired a powerful blast of shapes at him, hitting him directly and creating a small crater. "STAIR!" Kio exclaimed as he hopped into the crater to help out his buddy. Schnipsshly radioed for some zombie soldiers which came marching from over the horizon. "Yeah! Not even GT could handle the zombie army!" Kiorein shouted. GT held out his staff and blasted them away. "Hm, I don't care much for these new developments," Kiorein said with dismay. "Stair, are you all right?" "Yeah dude, I'm fine," Stair replied. "I spent many years learning how to withstand deadly pulses of magical energy." "Neat!" Schnippshly, who had long since ran out of ammunition, prepared his superpower box. He inserted four double A batteries into it. "I vas saving zese batteries for violently murdering Kiorein and his annoying friends, but I vill haff to use it to kill jew instead!" He did an incredible quadruple flip aerial flip kick, successfully striking GT and sending him flying out of this cloud and up higher into the air. Schnipsshly landed on the cloud and then made another jump and started to spin around and was somehow surrounded in drill-like energy as he headed to make impact with GT. GT generated a cubical shield, which deflected Schnipsshly's attack and sent him hurtling towards the ground. GT dropped his barrier and fired another blast down at his foe. "POWER PUNCH!!!" Schnipsshly shouted as his fist began to gleam with unimaginable power. "Power punch?" GT questioned, as he recalled his cloud to then stand upon. Schnipsshly performed a punch on the blast, which only backfired and caused a big explosion and slammed Schnipsshly into the ground with unbelievable force. GT floated down closer to the ground and let out a humiliating laugh. "This was the best resistance you could muster up? That climactic battle we had last time was much better than this!" "Nice cover fire, jew jerks," Schnipsshly spat at Kio and Stair. "Oh yeah, we probably could have shot GT when they were fighting," Kio said, realizing his mistake. "Now to end this!" GT shouted. He held up his staff and it began to flow with a deathly light. "Not so fast!" shouted a familiar voice. A ridiculously long whip snapped up into the air and snatched GT's staff out of his hand. The holder of the whip was none other than Professor Painting! "Painting!?" Stair shouted. "How did you escape from the prison?" "Zaph let me out after he was done being bullied by some guards for a few hours, they kept making fun of his lack of muscles and his choice of hairstyle," "Grrr! It's Professor Painting, the world renowned professor or whatever!" GT shouted. "Why was he the only one of us that was dramatically changed by the whole artifact thing?" "That's not important right now, what is important is that we end this once and for all! By killing you!" Painting shouted. "Why is that a necessary phase? Why don't we just secure all the artifacts and turn everything back to normal without murdering anybody?" Cooker asked. "I vould have sculpted the world in mein image but ve did not haff the last artifact. Of course, if anybody would have had all five zey vould haff just used them to get rid of jew guys already. I had to get control of ze ones we already haff before zey find all of zem." "Oh, I thought you guys had all of them," Kio said. "That's what Shiftshaper told me." "Yeah, and now he's dead. Who cares what he said," Stair said. "Nah, we had some guys out looking for the last one. Too bad you guys don't have guys out looking for the last one. Oh, hey, I think I'll go back to killing you now," GT said as he drew his backup staff that was also stronger than his regular one for whatever reason. |
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Swanson
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Oct 10 2010, 05:26 PM Post #253 |
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Italic Novice
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Things were not looking good for Kio and friends. Enolc had already been killed 5 times and GT had turned Stair into a bunny. Also Khrene got killed. "How can we beat these guys!?" Kio shouted as a bolt from GT's staff came flying at him. Kio, not seeing a way out and wanting to look cool, accepted his fate. Suddenly, a shadow was cast over him. It was Action Man! His big and bulgy muscles having blocked the spell and harmed no one. Except Enolc who was killed for a 6th time. "Action Man!? I thought you were lost in time how'd you get back?" Kio asked. "Anything is possible when you have muscles like mine!" Action Man replied completely not answering the question. It looked like Kio would never find out how Action Man got back. At least not until this flashback. Earth, Year 1 Action Man and Action Dad were doing what they did every day, having a staring contest. They were the only 2 people on the planet, much to Action Man's disappointment, who expected this time to be more like Year 1. Oh and there was also that caveman. Oog A caveman who has been thrust all throughout time. He is very similar to a cross between a retard and a chimp, he also likes to club things. A time portal opened and out came...a timecopter (A helicopter with a built in time machine. Copyright Shiftshaper 2010) Oog stared at the copter and growled when out came...Instant. "Instant what are you doing here!" Action Man said flexing his muscles to intimidate him. "I have this note to give to you." He handed the note to Action Dad who read over it. "Dear Brother and Father, If you are receiving this note than that means I am dead and I have failed. Luckily, I had my scientist make this timecopter. I have sent Instant to help you and make sure you guys stick to the plan as it will help all of us... Present Time "So what's the plan!" Shouted Stairbunny angered by the abrupt finish. Action Man would shrug. "Beats me, I don't know how to read." Everyone would sigh as they continued to fight. Meanwhile... Luckily for everyone else, Action Dad did know how to read and he had just found the artifact. Problem was it was in a volcano. The Timecopter circled the volcano as Action Dad decided what to do. "We don't have much time, Pregga's zombie forces are heading for the volcano." Instant would shout, he would look out the window and realize that the zombie had actually become preoccupied eating the citizens on the small island where the volcano was located. "Nevermind, we've got enough time." Instant would shout back. Action Dad would look at the volcano then over to Oog who gave him a thumbs up. Action Dad would smile as he jumped inside the volcano. "Oog! What is he doing!" Instant would shout. "Punch 'Cano with fist." Oog would reply. As Action Dad landed in the volcano he reached for the artifact while punching the molten lava into submission causing it to erupt him and the artifact back onto the helicopter. "How did you do that?" Instant said shocked. "Anything is possible when you have muscles like mine!" Action Dad would flex, ripping his shirt off in the process. "Well...okay then...let's go set everything back to normal." Instant said as he flew the copter towards Shiftshaper's palace. |
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| Kiorein | Oct 13 2010, 05:23 PM Post #254 |
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Italic Novice
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"My psychic powers tell me that our friends are in danger!" Instant Butler exclaimed. ------ Action Man flexed his impressive muscles at GT and started doing push-ups and squats. GT stared in confused amazement at this astounding body. Suddenly, GT felt a wriggling under his hat and out popped Stairmaster, defender of the cosmos! Or maybe he's just a rabbit! "I can do magic too!" Stair screamed as he punched GT in the face. Unfortunately, his puny rabbit muscles did not harm GT. GT held out his staff and zapped Stair, causing a tiny rabbit-sized explosion, thoroughly killing Stairbunny and leaving him a burnt husk on the ground. Kiorein ran to the side of his fallen comrade. "NO! STAIRBUNNY! You were truly the cuddliest of them all," he wept. Then he tossed the corpse aside. "Oh well he'll be back soon enough. I eventually figured out that when people die, they tend to not be dead later on." GT chuckled. "Wanna know the best part? This is my kill forever staff!" "YOU MONSTER!" Kiorein screamed. He quickly pulled out his pistol and opened fire on GT, wildly firing before GT could react. GT floated there in shock, staring at his nemesis hopelessly. He looked down at himself and inspected his body. "Wait, you didn't land a single shot on me. You are terrible at aiming," GT spat. "I've seen enough of this," Action Man growled as he finished doing fifty push-ups. He did an incredible flexing maneuver and then sprung into the air to deliver a devastating punch. GT yawned and used his magic to make Action Man float helplessly in the air. He began to furiously jab at the air. "Why aren't my incredible muscles freeing me?" "Shiftshaper warned me about you, Action Man. Don't think I wouldn't prepare for you, like I did for the rest of these idiots," "You sick bastard!" Action Man shouted. Kiorein, filled with rage and anguish about the death of his dear friend Stairbunny, formulated a plan. "Painting! If we combine our efforts with one last-ditch attack, we might be able to take him out!" an Enolc clone ran up. "You can help too, Enolc." Then GT blasted the clone into dust. "Or not." "I'm on it, Kio!" Painting shouted as he rushed at GT. Kiorein followed suit. Meanwhile, with Instant and Action Dad... "The artifacts are there!" Instant shouted as he pointed to the prison chambers of Shiftshaper's lair. The timecopter sloppily slammed through the wall and landed beside the dismantled Hero Table, where three artifacts rested. Instant scooped up the artifacts. "Let's see here... one... two... buckle my shoe... three four... shut the door... WAIT! Oh dear! There is an artifact missing form here!" "WHAT!?" shouted Action Dad. "Well, now all those zombies make sense! It must be the artifact of life and death that caused this! I'd imagine that wherever all the action is taking place is where we'll find the final artifact!" "I concur, let us make haste! Oog, fire up the engines!" Instant exclaimed as he hopped back into the timecopter with the artifacts. Back at the action... GT smirked and held his staff out. He shot out a ray of bluish energy, which Painting flipped out of the way of. It hit the ground and created a column of ice. "A freeze ray!?" Painting shouted. Kiorein took this opportunity to get in better range of GT and started opening fire on him. GT was forced to maneuver out of the way of the gunfire. Suddenly, Schnippshly sprung into action, doing an incredible quadruple super flip kick, struck GT and sent him flying off of his magical cloud once again. GT went spiralling through the air as Schnippshly, Kiorein, and Painting all headed after him to go for the kill. However, just as GT was about to slam into the ground, he suddenly regained composure and shouted "FOOLED YOU!" and sent several blasts of deadly energy into the group. The wounded Schnippshly was unable to evade the attack, and met his tragic end. After all, he did get blasted through the chest by a dinosaur earlier. I bet you forgot about that. Kiorein managed to avoid the attack, and Painting was hit in the leg. GT's cloud came to break his fall. "NO! SCHNIPPSHLY!" Kiorein shouted as he cradled him in his arms. "You were my favorite superpowered Nazi," he said as his eyes filled with tears. "All those good times we had together, remember that time when you shot at me with a helicopter, oh God why did you have to die," "GT you jerk! Stop being so good at fighting!" Painting shouted. "Sure, before or after I finish killing you and all your friends?" "Before is nice," Painting said simply. Something suddenly caught GT's attention. A timecopter was flying towards them! GT quickly ended that voyage with a quick blast from his staff. However, to his dismay, from the explosion emerged Action Dad, with Instant and Oog! Instant dusted his hands off. "The game is over, old chap. We've won. All of this destruction you have sewn will now be undone. Surrender the final artifact. Also, you were a really, really, awful person to butler for. Clean this, scrub that, do some work around here, and all that mess. I've had enough" "You mean this artifact?" Kiorein asked, holding up the artifact Schnippshly had on him. "Yes indeed!" Instant shouted. "Toss it here, old bean!" However, at that moment, GT used some sort of spell to turn Kiorein into a skeleton. A skeleton that is dead and doesn't move around. GT floated over to the artifact. Action Dad let out a manly roar and dashed over to him, fist held ready for an incredible punch. Unfortunately, GT shot some sort of horrible laser through Action Dad's actiony chest, causing him to fall over and then not be feeling so good. Action Man's muscles twitched dramatically as he broke free from GT's spell. "GT! YOU ASSHOLE! STOP DOING THAT! IT'S PISSING ME AND MY MUSCLES OFF!!!" he screamed as he made a run for GT. The artifact in GT's hand glowed and up stood Kiorein and Schnippshly. Kiorein went to get in Action Man's way and was promptly punched into a pile of dust and bones. Then Schnippshly, despite being a zombie, decided not to try that. Action Man punched GT in the face and then kicked him onto the ground and started to savagely pummel him. Painting, Instant, Cooker, and Oog watched in curiosity as the pounding went on for several minutes as Action Man grunted and punched viciously. However, the assault ended poorly when GT launched yet another one of his irritating spells, blasting Action Man off of him and into a state not unlike death. GT stood back up and adjusted his now ruined glasses. His face could now no longer be considered acceptable to look at. "It may have taken a savage beating, but now this is over!" GT shouted. "Well, now it's my turn, maybe I can reason with GT," Cooker started, before GT blew him up with his amazing powers. "Now, to end this," GT said, holding his staff up to prepare one final spell, one that would finish off his foes. "Everything went just as a I planned it would!" ----- Meanwhile, in the past... Action Man jumped out of Zaph's lab just in time as an explosion consumed his entire lab. "Well, glad that's taken care of" Action man exclaimed. Shiftshaper smirked as he aimed his tranquilizer gun... when suddenly... "FREEZE! Official time cop!" shouted Timer as he appeared in a blinding flash of light. "Oh snap a time cop!" Shiftshaper shouted. Timer promptly punched Shiftshaper in the face and took away his time equipment, and his tranquilizer gun. Then he took him to jail. "That was weird," Action Man shouted as he flexed his impressive muscles. Shiftshaper would then spend the rest of time in Time Jail, rotting away and causing none of his evil schemes to happen. Oh my! |
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| Stairmaster | Oct 14 2010, 06:10 PM Post #255 |
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Italic Member
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Murderman landed in his escape pod. "What a mess," he said. "At least Instant is dead now. I escaped in the nick of time," he added as he stepped out of the pod. "And you know what this means?" said Murderman, straightening his tie. He grinned and made a cool pose. "I'm the President now!" ... "Wait who am I talking to?" He said to no-one in particular. "Oh well time to carry on with my plans, " Murderman continued as he walked over to the ruins of zaphs lab with a bag of magic seeds in hand. While traversing the rubble his leg brushed against some metallic machine of seemingly no purpose that was still miraculously intact. Silently it's lights went back on and it's 24 hour countdown continued no longer impeded... ******************************************************* Hours later a single low frequency radio signal emitted from the apocalypse machine. None were aware of it except for one man... |
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| Kiorein | Oct 14 2010, 06:32 PM Post #256 |
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Italic Novice
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Back to the future... Suddenly, in a flash of light, Timer appeared! "Whoa, it's Timer the Time Cop!" exclaimed Painting. "Indeed I am," Timer shouted. "I'm just here to do my job," Timer produced a clipboard and started jotting something down. "What is this!?" shouted GT. "Um. Yeah," Timer started. "This timeline needs to go. Y'see, this is all a by-product of time travelling shenanigans, the regular timeline is flowing just fine now, but this one can't keep going." "Destroying a timeline!? I say!" Instant shouted. "Do you mean that we shall cease to exist?" "Unfortunately so, but don't worry, you'll live on in the clean timeline. The difference will be that Shiftshaper's nefarious scheme will have never started. Yes, indeed, and Painting, your Taco Hut adventure will have never occured, as that is part of this corrupted divergent timeline." "Wait, so why are you showing up here?" Painting asked. "Oh, I usually show up at the most climactic moment of a ruined timeline to do these things." Timer walked over to GT and held out the clipboard. "Sign here to verify that I showed up here to destroy this timeline and blah blah blah," GT used his magic to sign his signature. After examining the signature and tucking the clipboard away, Timer then produced a time-destroying bomb and activated it. He tossed the bomb onto the ground and then time warped away. Painting, GT, and Instant all stared at the bomb hopelessly. "This is how it ends!?" GT snarled. ---------------------- FIN ? ---------------------- |
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12:55 AM Feb 8